Sunday 16 November 2014

Building on "Tax Avoidance" awaiting editing


A gnawing wind funnelled down Castlegate as if intent on ripping the clothes off the Christmas shoppers. They in their turn were holding coats and scarves close to deny the onslaught. An elderly gent with a distinct military bearing was tackling the wind head on, towing a small girl behind him. Her padded jacket and trousers made her look like an over large stuffed toy, incongruous next to his long black woolen coat and bright shiny black shoes.

I'm cold Grandy can we go to Starbucks for a hot chocolate?” the little one pleaded, catching sight of the coffee shop on the next corner.
Certainly not with those tax avoiding b's” replied her great Grandfather, remembering just in time to moderate his languauge for his darling Lydia, “we'll go somewhere much nicer”

Two minutes later they were pushing open the ornate door of Brucciani's tea rooms and were embraced by the gush of warm chocolate, coconut scented air. A wide eyed Lydia gave a contented sigh.


The old man was obviously a well known and respected customer as the staff greeted him with waves and smiles. From behind the counter bustled a dark haired portly man beaming a welcome.

Kenneth, how lovely to see you, my friend,” He said extending his hand, “and who is this lovely lady?” turning to Lydia.

Tweaking her fleecy cap of her head Kenneth replied, “ Allow me to present my great Granddaughter Lydia. Lydia meet Alberto, the proprietor of this wonderful establishment.”

Lydia smiled shyly and wondered if being “the proprietor of the wonderful establishment” was the reason he spoke differently in the same way that her friend Anita spoke differently because “she was an immigrant from Bangladesh”. The wondering didn't last long as the magnificent display of cakes drew her towards the counter.

Taking his admiring gaze from the little girl Alberto turned to Kenneth and asked what he could get them.

An expresso for me Alberto and a small hot chocolate for Lydia, please”

Not small, Grandy, not small.” said an indignant Lydia, “ and one of those please.” she wheedled, pointing to an enormous chocolate eclair.

Her Great Grandfathers eyebrows rose and Alberto chuckled.

She know her own mind, that young lady”

She may do but if she's going to have that huge cake she's most definitely having a small hot chocolate or she'll be sick” said Kenneth and turning to Lydia added “ You wouldn't have got one of those in Starbucks.”

Kenneth should have known better than to mention the coffee chain in Alberto's vicinity.
The expression on Alberto's amiable face immediately became thunderous

You weren't thinking of going to those thieving devils?” he spat out, “wherever they go, places like mine suffer. The first month they opened down the road my takings were halved, halved I tell you.”

Kenneth was piloting Lydia towards an empty table. She looked a little alarmed at the sudden change in a man she had instantly warmed to. She was yet to learn that Italians often have volatile personalities and Alberto was no exception.

And now?” asked Kenneth calmly, looking round at the crowded tables and the queue at the counter.

Well, yes, OK, it's better now. But it's only because good loyal customers like you didn't desert us that we kept our heads above the water.”

Nonsense Alberto, it was just novelty. Who wouldn't come in here in favour of Starbucks, with its corporate image and its “Have a Nice Day” from staff who don”t give a damn.”

Storing the “damn” way for later use, Lydia lost interest in the adult conversation as she stared about the magical place to which her Grandy had brought her. It was quite unlike anywhere her mother had taken her.

Apart from anything else it was a regular Tardis, considerably bigger on the inside than it appeared outside. The table at which they were sitting was one of many arranged around the walls of the bigger section at the back of the shop. Lydia was sitting on a green leather bench whilst her great grandfather sat on an old fashioned looking chair with a curved back. The chairs looked really old. The whole place looked old, but in a nice way. Comfortable, somehow. Above the benches were panels of mirrors and on the walls there was writing. At six Lydia hadn't mastered many long words but was able to easily read, tea
and Bovril but speciality had her foxed. On one wall there were three flying duck ornaments soaring towards the ceiling. Lydia couldn't see them easily from her seat but covering the walls of front of the cafe were black and white photographs of celebrities.
Lydia was about to ask if they'd all been customers when a waitress slid a plate holding her eclair over the table to her.

“ …...... millions of pounds, Alberto, they owe to the taxman. They've paid some back since all the fuss but not what they really owe. I'll bet you've never tried to avoid paying your dues have you.”

The incomprehensible conversation was still going on above her head so Lydia picked up her eclair, wrapped her small mouth around one end and bit firmly. Cream and custard oozed out of the sides, over her fingers and all around her mouth. The two men engrossed in their talk failed to notice.

Kenneth, my family is so grateful to Britain taking us in in the 1930's when life was so hard in Italy why would we want to cheat?” Alberto winked, “don't tell my Mafia cousins though!”

He pushed down on the table to raise his ample bottom from his chair and looked across to Lydia and burst out laughing. The little girl was a mess of chocolate, custard and cream, she was pushing cream from her cheeks into her mouth and desperately licking her fingers.

I get a cloth.” pronounced Alberto “And a spoon”




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